The Mystic Order Of INFJs (Part I) by Darbright on June 5, 2011
7I write this article with tongue in cheek and yet with a certain sense of seriousness. As with all types, there are stages of growth and development as we evolve into the highest version of ourselves.
When I look at INFJs in their entirety, I see a number of stages of development.
It is a stage of confusion, frustration, love, hate, anger, peace, comfort yet needing to be comforted. It is a perplexing state of contradicting confusion. INFJ seeds are people with the cognitive abilities that make them a unique type unto themselves from between 1-3% of the human population (a generalized statistic).
At this stage, many INFJ seeds are lost to the world. Out of the entire INFJ population,only a minority actually discover the truth about themselves. When they find out their true nature, they realize they are not alone, but part of a very rare and unique breed of beings that walk the planet Earth.
It’s a pity that so many are lost, but yet it is part and parcel of how nature operates. Many INFJ seeds are dragged down by the world around them, lost to their spirit guides and angels fighting to get through their fogs of darkness, confusion and despair.
It is at this stage that INFJs are most vulnerable. Scattered across the globe in small numbers, it is difficult for them to come across another INFJ in their lives. Many times INFJs feel alone and misunderstood by the world around them.
Lacking understanding of their true nature, these undiscovered INFJs are so torn apart by their inner turmoil that they may sometimes be diagnosed with personality disorders or depression. In other cases, these INFJ seeds have learnt to suppress their true nature in order to survive in society.
Who wouldn’t be depressed if they could sense the whirlpool of thoughts and emotions that surround them all the time?
Some actually go on to successful lives and careers in society without ever knowing their true nature, but others fall to the wayside of life to be forgotten and treated as outcasts of society.
The Developing INFJ For those who have discovered the truth about themselves as INFJs, they are initially caught up with discovering the truth of being an INFJ. It can be a moment of pride when they discover they are a rare breed, and then they are hit with the fact they still have to live out their physical realities.
At this stage, a lot of their past behaviors, emotions and insights into the world around them start making a lot of sense. They see why they have been the way they are in the past. But even though understanding finds them, productive changes are still elusive as they continue (even against their wishes) in their past patterns of behavior.
Still caught up in the inner worlds that exist within them, they find it hard to release their grip on the inner places that have sheltered their hearts and souls for so long. But it is something they need to learn in order to progress on their path of life.
This is a time when they must venture outside their inner worlds into the physical reality of external form. It is a time where they must test themselves to develop the necessary skills for surviving and thriving in society.
Alternating between the shelter of their inner worlds, they make the occasional excursion into physical realities to test out their newly learned skills of human interaction. They may also find they have the talent for sensing the intangible, which can further confuse their socially reinforced notion of reality.
How do you balance out your interactions with society when the majority are unable to experience the metaphysical or walk among the spirit worlds? It can seem a case for the mental hospital!
It is at this stage that the INFJ needs to find the balance between walking the metaphysical world and the physical realities that dominate this dimension.
Some choose to give up their metaphysical connections in order to fit in and make a living in society. Others may choose to go entirely mystic and become a minority. Others yet choose to master both sides of their nature, mystic and human, as they move through human society attempting to evolve beyond their present state of being.
During this stage, many developing INFJs are still learning about themselves and what they can or cannot do. It is an exciting yet arduous stage of growth. It is challenging and exhausting to master the self and their inner energies, while trying to find a place for themselves in the world around them.
It is also in this stage they start to develop their potential in many aspects of their lives. They often get the comment that they have so much potential, if only they were to …(do this, be that… etc).
Developing INFJs can find themselves stuck in this stage and never really getting anywhere in their lives. They can end up feeling sorry for themselves, or in other cases, make peace with who they are and settle for their present place in life.
But for the INFJs that persevere, they eventually reach maturity and place of being a developed INFJ, where they have developed their talents and abilities.
They have attained INFJ knighthood.
The Mystic Order of INFJs (Part II) by Darbright on June 8, 2011
The Developed (Mature) INFJ – INFJ Knights This is the stage that many INFJs are sub-consciously striving towards. As developed and mature INFJs, they are able to contribute to their community in the unique ways that only INFJs can.
In this stage, they are mature, responsible and have trained themselves to handle both their inner and external realities. Here, they have discovered their individual strengths and developed them to provide value to external reality. They have also come to terms with their flaws and learned to manage them the best they can.
Because of the inner conflicts they have to handle, most INFJs don’t reach this stage until the latter parts of their lives. Even though young INFJs can see the world through clear and mature eyes, their ability to handle life emotionally and spiritually have not caught up with their intuitive intellect.
For this reason (among others), seemingly mature young INFJs can still be prone to strong emotional outbursts, low self-esteem, depression and over-emotionally attached to people who are close them. Their strong intuitive senses are often overwhelmed by the passions and rages that swirl within their hearts, which can result in them taking actions they wish they hadn’t.
On the other hand, mature INFJ have gone through enough life experiences to toughen their inner selves. While strong inner passions can still flame in their souls, developed INFJs have learnt to temper their emotions with mature thoughts and actions.
Developed INFJs are the sensible, mature and assuring ones who seem to be unfazed by the storms that life sometimes throw their way. They are able to restore and maintain calm within the storm, causing people to naturally gravitate towards them in times of crisis for comfort and confidence.
Mature INFJs still have active imaginations and live in both the physical and metaphysical realms. They have also developed their strengths to a point where they contribute value to their community in a tangible way (i.e. they get paid for doing what they love and are good at). This is an important element in the development of INFJs, especially male INFJs.
With the masculine need to be the protector and provider, knowing that they are able to take care of their families emotionally, spiritually, physically and financially is important in the development of a male INFJs self-esteem and confidence. Since INFJs in general tend to be empathetic and highly aware of the inner states of those around them, male INFJs knowing their mates approve of their provider/protector abilities can give them a huge boost to their confidence and self-esteem.
Developed INFJs can also be strong foundations in their family and community. Although they tend to be quiet and understated in the way they carry out their activities, they exude an aura of calm, quiet confidence that everything will be alright.
With a developed INFJ around, you can somehow feel that even if the world goes to shit, things will still be OK.
This is because INFJs walk both spirit and physical worlds. An intimate understanding of their relationship to the divine is their anchor when their physical reality goes through major shakeups. While you can’t see it with your physical eyes, it is this assurance in their connection to Divine Spirit that you feel with your other senses.
Mature INFJs still need their own time and space, where they can put down their responsibilities to recharge and just play in their inner worlds. It is this time and space that allows them to de-stress, organize their thoughts, emotions and experiences, and just completely let go.
Without this time and space, INFJs will usually have a tendency go ape and enter their shadow selves. Irritable, sharp tongued and passively-aggressive in your face, stressed out INFJs can be a bit to handle.
However, once they have released a little of the pent up frustrations and energies, they also tend to feel a little guilty about their uncalled for behavior despite the fact they were under stress and extremely agitated at that time.
With the expanded awareness and added responsibilities a developed INFJ takes on, they need to be conscious of maintaining balance within themselves and their lives.
Health and fitness are important factors to an INFJ, since they may require more energy to navigate social and work situations with tact and diplomacy. By maintaining a healthy lifestyle and good diet, they are able to tap into their stores of energy and maintain balance. Because of their naturally introverted nature, social interactions (even though positive and fun) can be draining on their energy reserves.
When INFJs have matured and developed themselves, they can be valuable and contributing members to their community. They may sometimes take on leadership roles when required, but are usually willing to allow another who is more competent to take the reins. This is because their objective isn’t so much about being a leader but in making sure that the outcome is to the best interest of those involved.
Mature INFJs tend to stand out in subtle ways if you know how to look for the clues. Since as a breed they are already rare enough, their behavior will have subtle differences that make them seem just a little different from those around them. It is as though they are almost always living in a world of their own from which they look out at the reality around them.
That’s only if you know what to look out for. In many cases, INFJs are equally capable of going covert to blend in with their social environments.
As mature individuals, INFJs are almost like knights of old. They use their strengths and abilities to help others in need. Using their skills and intuitive understanding, they work quietly to build others up and move events to a better outcome for everyone involved.
They usually gravitate towards where they are needed and move on when their services are no longer required.
They usually don’t ask for much but a genuine appreciation for their services rendered and heartfelt thanks. It is emotional nourishment for their souls that make them feel that the work they do is worth it.
Mature INFJs can very much seem like the knight in battle-worn armor. Not as noticeable as the knight in shining armor, but you’ll feel something is missing when they are absent.
To Be Continued… The INFJ Master
Let them come who wish to come, And let them go who wish to go, And do not harm to me or mine. -Ancient Icelandic Invitation Formula for the Elven Folk
Prince of Brats